Just in time for Christmas, this hilarious list of the most dangerous toys ever. My personal favorite:
The South did rise again, at least during playtime for the owners of the Johnny Reb, a 30-inch “authentic civil war” cannon draped in the confederate flag. The Reb fired hard, plastic cannonballs with a spring mechanism—the aspiring secessionist need only pull a lanyard. No word on exactly how fast the cannonballs flew, but they traveled up to 35 feet and seemed perfectly sized to lodge into an eye socket, down an open mouth, or through a slave’s window.
For only $11.98, young rebels got a cannon, six cannon balls, a ramrod, and a rebel flag. What better way to permanently maim your little brother while spreading valuable lessons about states’ rights?
Be sure to check out the accompanying TV ad for the toy cannon. Like the jingle says, “We’ll all be gay when Johnny comes marching home!”
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